I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
