is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Then you guys just all showered together...?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
