Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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