ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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