trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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