Duck Duck Cougar?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
