im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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