I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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