i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
