I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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