I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
