I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
