Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
