Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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