i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
