sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
