problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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