i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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