thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
