Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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