Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
did i just pee glitter
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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