just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
