She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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