she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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