I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
