JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
