I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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