what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
