Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
