so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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