The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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