Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
