I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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