my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize