i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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