got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
