I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
