I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Actions speak louder than pants.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
