fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize