my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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