And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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