she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
