I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
