Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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