sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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