Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
