Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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