In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
