I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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