I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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