careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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