You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
