I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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