I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
the condom got lost in my hair
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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