i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
