I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
