yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
