So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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