Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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