Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
