he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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