I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
